


The Restaurant

by Little_oblivion



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Explicit Language, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, hopefully funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2020-11-22 04:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20868281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_oblivion/pseuds/Little_oblivion
Summary: Welcome to Big Racks, one of New York City's most popular barbecue restaurants and sports' bars! Grab a seat at the bar or see a hostess for a table, because it's going to be a great night!(Where all of our faves work at a restaurant together, and they fight and flirt and fall in love, and even manage to serve some of their customers along the way)





	1. Hostess Training

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This story takes place at a fictionalized version of the restaurant I work at in real life. Events will be based on actual, real life happenings. I will update tags and relationships as I go. Updates will be random, just whenever the feeling strikes, and probably not as constant as Her Heart is Fit for Home, but I'm hoping this will be equal parts funny and touching.
> 
> Let me know what works and what doesn't!

**Tierna**

Welcome to Big Racks!

We are a barbecue restaurant and sports' bar located in the heart of Manhattan. Our mission is to provide a good dose of Southern fun (and some finger lickin' good food!) to the people of NYC.

You have been brought aboard as a hostess, and that makes you an integral part of our team! You serve as the first impression of the restaurant, both at the front door as patrons arrive and when answering the phone.

"Here, I'll give you a quick tour before we really get started on the training materials."

Tierna looked up from the binder in her hands. "Oh, okay." She closed it and placed it on the table before standing and following Carli away from the table.

She's moved to New York City only 36 hours ago, and she honestly couldn't believe she was really there. It had been her secret dream to move to the city that never sleeps for most of her life, but she hadn't thought it would come true. But then she had landed an internship and before she knew it she was packing everything she could into two suitcases and booking a flight to La Guardia. A friend of a friend from Stanford was able to hook her up with a hostessing job before she left California, and now here she was. She'd been doubtful about a place called Big Racks, she didn't want to work at some Hooters rip off, but she'd been assured it was good money and when she starting looking for rooms to rent online, she'd hurriedly put her doubts aside. Boob jokes or not, she needed money if she was going to pay $900 a month for a cramped bedroom in Astoria.

"So you're Kelley's friend, right?"

"Uh, yeah! We've only actually met a few times. But we have several friends in common."

"Well, you're coming at a great time. Several of our hostesses just finished training as servers, so they're all super eager to have their host shifts covered." Carli stopped and gestured to the dining room in front of them. "This is the Coop. It's where we seat most of our tables 4 and 2 top parties, but tables can be pushed together for larger parties. It contains tables 1 through 19-"

"Oh wait, let me write that..." Tierna pulled out a small notebook she had brought to take notes.

Carli smiled. "Don't worry, I'm going to give you a table map to take home and study." She led Tierna through the rest of the restaurant, pointing out the different areas, then finishing at the bar. "You really not going to need to be back here much. But you get a free staff meal and drink at the end of each shift. Well, I say free, $4.50 gets taken out of your check. Wait," She turned to study Tierna. "How old are you?"

"20."

Carli rolled her eyes, murmuring something about 'literal infants' under her breath. "Well in that case, you will not be getting a shift drink."

"Don't worry newbie, we'll take care of you."

Tierna turned to see a woman coming up from the kitchen with a large container of fruit and a knife. Her long brown hair was held in a sloppy bun and she had headphones around her neck.

"Uh, no you won't! Not if we don't want to get shut down," Carli argued.

The woman just grinned. "What you don't know won't hurt you, Carlos."

"Don't call me-"

"I'm Tobin, by the way." She stuck out a hand and Tierna shook it. 

"Tierna."

"New hostess?"

"Yup!"

Carli looked at her watch. "Weren't you supposed to be here at 10:30?"

Tobin shrugged, seemingly unaffected by her manager's scowl. "The fruit will get cut, don't you worry. Oh, and Ash and I are switching shifts next Sunday. She's gonna take my day shift so that she and Ali can spend all night fu-"

"Just put the request in the computer! I don't need to know the details!" She gave Tobin a very pointed look before turning back to Tierna. "Let's head back to the host stand."

The rest of the morning passed pretty quickly. Rose, the girl she was shadowing for the day, arrived at 11, and Carli left them to go over the hostess binder together.

"Do you like working here?" Tierna asked.

Rose shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. "It's nice. The hours aren't bad, the pay is... minimum wage, which is insulting but whatevs, but all of the girls here are freaking awesome. Just wait till you meet everyone, we have a blast. Well, we normally do. There's drama every now and then, but what are you gonna do? And it's honestly a great place to meet guys." Tierna gave a half cough, unsure of what to say to that. "What?"

"Nothing! I just... I'm a lesbian, so..."

Rose shrugged. "You're in good company, so no worries."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's funny, our customers are mainly broey dudes who work in the area, or ex-frat boys, but most of our staff is female. Well, that's not funny, that's on purpose because like... the patriarchy and stuff, but our managers are primarily female too, and a good portion of the staff is queer in some way."

"Got it. So the servers we have on today..."

"Julie and Christen? Nah. Julie is married actually, and Christen is straight. Guys are always giving her their phone numbers. And Tobin," Rose gave a grin and gave an exaggerated eyebrow waggle. "is so gay she can barely breathe."

Tierna just smiled, glancing back over at the bar, where Tobin was standing with her arms crossed, a snapback now covering her hair as she chatted animatedly with a few guys at the bar. "I can see that."

"I think she's single."

She drew her attention back to Rose who was smirking at her. "Oh, I wasn't-"

"I'm just saying! But... she can be a bit of a player. So be careful."

"I don't know that I'll really be dating or anything like that. I'm just here to do my internship, and it sounds like the workload is going to be super heavy."

"Whatever you say, Tierna."

**Megan**

Megan ducked through the side door of the restaurant, glancing over the Friday happy hour crowd as she did. It was pretty sizable, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. She waved to a few regulars before heading downstairs to the office.

"Caaaaaarl's bad caverns!" Carli ignored her, instead typing away at the computer. Megan threw herself down in the other chair. "How has today been?"

"Not bad! Lunch shift was a little slow, but we're picking up. Rose is training the new hostess, Kelley's friend."

"What's she like?"

"Nothing like Kelley."

Megan snorted. "You say that like it's a good thing."

"It is. I don't think she'll be hopping around like a squirrel on cocaine."

"Anything else?"

"Emily called to say she was going to be late."

"Yeah, but she always is." Megan leaned back and stretched with a yawn. "You're good to head out if you want."

"First I need to finish this email to Dan," Carli grumbled as she rubbed at her eyes.

"What's Dan the Man done now?"

"He hung around for like, three hours, just getting in the way. And then he had the nerve to tell me we had too many cooks on and that I should cut someone. I'm sorry, but what? No, I'm not cutting a cook you moron."

"How we've stayed open this long is a mystery."

"We've stayed open this long because he hires people like me, who know what the fuck they're doing. But that only works if he leaves me alone and lets me do my job."

Megan shook her head. "He's the fucking worst."

"You can say that again."

"He's the fucking worst."

Carli turned and gave Megan a small smile. "You're annoying."

"You love me."

Carli turned to study the the monitor showing the security cameras. "Also, the new girl is only 20, so make sure the girls aren't giving her drinks."

"20 is practically 21-"

"No it's not!"

"Okay, okay..." Megan conceded, raising her hands. "But c'mon, you drank in college and you turned out okay."

"I only had a few glasses of wine with my parents at dinner. I waited for everything else until I was 21."

"Of course you did, you freak."

Carli quickly reread her email then hit send. "Alright, I'm getting out of here."

"Sure you don't want to take a shot or two before you do?"

"No, I just want to go home to Brian and pretend like I don't have to come back tomorrow."

"Fair enough."

Carli gathered her things then nudged Megan's shoulder. "I didn't even ask. How was your stay-cation?"

She grinned. "It was good. Sue and I binged like three seasons of X files."

"Good." She started to leave. "Oh, I'm sure Tobin's going to forget to put it in the computer, but she and Ash are switching shifts next Sunday."

"Oh yeah... it's Ali's birthday, I'm sure they're going to be fucking like rabbits."

"PINOE." She punched her in the shoulder before the blonde could squirm away.

"What? We all know that's what's gonna happen!"

"Just... ugh. I'm leaving before you can pull me into talking about our employees' sex lives."

"Have a good night, Car."


	2. Footslave48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily asks Morgan what she thinks is an honest question and gets a surprising answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! It comes with a friendly reminder to always tip your servers :')

**Emily**

She groaned as she walked back to the service station, scowling as she stared at the book in her hands.

“What crawled up your butt?” Crystal asked as she popped the cap on a bottle of Bud Light.

“5 dollars. 5 fucking dollars on a $48 check! In what fucking world, is that an appropriate tip?! That’s not even ten percent!”

Morgan winced as she loaded her drinks onto her tray. “Oof, that’s rough.”

“I’m sorry but if you’re not going to leave at least eighteen percent, then go to McDonalds. I have bills to pay! Rent is due next week! Don’t people realize that I have student loans to pay off?”

“Girl tell me about it. When Pierre proposed I was over the moon. Then I started looking at wedding venues, and dresses, and invitations… It’s enough to make you want to do it at the courthouse. But both of our moms would lose their minds.”

Emily snagged a few French fries from the platters waiting for Crystal to hand them out to bar patrons and got her hand slapped away. She chewed on them moodily.

“Seriously though. If I had known I would be paying off my student loans for the rest of my goddamn life, I would have thought twice about going to college. Especially since I can’t even find a job in my field and ended up waiting tables anyway.”

Morgan slid her tray back onto the shelf and pushed her hair back. “Yeah. Loans are ridiculous. The day I paid mine off was the best day of my entire life. Better than graduation. Better than any sex I’ve ever had, and before you ask, yeah I will say that to Fabrice’s face,” she grinned.

“Damn your boyfriend needs to step it- wait. How the FUCK did you manage to pay off your student loans? We’re the same age!”

Morgan let out a small chuckle. “Well… it’s kind of a long story.”

“I have time! Tell me what you did! Did you kill someone? Did you hack into the government database? Did you-“

“Sonny, table 64 wants to pay out and if that guy waves his credit card at me one more time, I’m going to punch him in the face. Please come cash him out so that I don’t get arrested for assault.” Alyssa stated as she filled up her cup with water.

Sonnet groaned but followed the hostess back to the front of the restaurant. “Don’t think I’m not getting an answer out of you, Morgan. This isn’t over!”

The other server just smiled and rolled her eyes, wondering if she would have brought it up at all.

X

“Okay. Spill. How did you pay off you student loans? Do you have ties to the mob? How does one join the mob? Is it a lifetime commitment or-”

“Will you chill out? I’m not in the mob, I can’t even use mouse traps without feeling bad.”

Emily stopped doing her sidework, putting her hands on her hips. “Okay, so how?”

Morgan took a deep breath as she topped off the barbecue sauce in a few bottles. She glanced around the back room, making sure that no stray bar patrons had wandered back in search of a bathroom. “Okay, it’s… It’s not a huge deal, but don’t tell people, okay?”

“If it’s not a big deal, why can’t I tell anyone?”

“Because people get weird about it! I uh… When I was in college, and for a bit after, I was… a sugar baby.”

Emily’s mouth dropped open. “You were a WHAT?!”

“Shut up!” Morgan hissed, glancing back to the doorway. “You heard me.”

“Okay, I, okay, but, how?” Emily’s brain was short circuiting. If someone had told her one of her coworkers had been a sugar baby, Morgan would have been at the bottom of her list.

“It… It started off as a joke, y’know? Me and a friend were talking and there had been a news segment about it, and as a joke I said I should set up an account. And we both thought that was the most hilarious thing we’d ever heard, and that led to me actually setting up a profile, still as a joke, just wanting to see what it would be like… and I got like a thousand messages in the first couple days.”

“WHAT?!”

“Yeah! Which was… overwhelming. And I couldn’t believe it, because it was all some big joke. But then… I started kinda sifting through some of the messages and realized that… for the most part they were just normal guys.”

“Yeah, old guys!”

“I mean, late thirties to late forties. It’s not like I was trolling the retirement homes of Charlottesville,” Morgan laughed.

“But so… what happened next?”

“There was a guy, his name was Todd… we ended up going out on a date, and I was still just like oh this is a joke, ha ha, but he was so nice and cool… and then at the end of the date I kissed him.”

“He kissed you?!”

“No, I kissed him, Sonny. Like, I was honestly attracted to him. And that’s what was so mindblowing. And so we set up a second date, and that’s when you usually have the finances talk.”

Emily stared at Morgan expectantly, but the other girl simply wiped the sauce bottle in her hand and replaced the lid. “And??”

“He put the ball in my court, and I didn’t really know where to start, so I was like… I want help paying my car payment. And my phone bill. And he asked what kind of car I drove, and I told him it was like, a Honda Civic or something, with a $250 payment, and he was like great. Let’s call it $400 a month.”

Emily’s mouth fell open. “4… Oh my GOD. Why did I go to college at all?!”

Morgan smirked at her. ”Tell me about it.”

“But like… what did he get out of it? I mean, you weren’t like an escort, having sex with him…” Morgan didn’t say anything, just smiled at her. “OH MY GOD!”

“What is all the yelling coming from back here?!” Becky stuck her head through the door. “What is so exciting about filling sauces?”

For her part, Emily couldn’t respond. She was jumping up and down, yelling and pointing at Morgan, who rolled her eyes.

“We’ll keep it down, sorry.”

“What’s wrong with her? Is she having a stroke?”

“No, she just…” Morgan let out a slight groan. “I was telling her about how I… was a sugar baby.”

To her credit, Becky managed not to start screaming like Sonnett, but her eyebrows went higher than Morgan had ever seen them, and she turned and pulled the door completely shut, walking forward and sitting on one of the tables. “By all means, continue.”

“She fucked an old dude!”

“I- he was an attractive old!” Morgan argued quickly. “Definitely a silver fox!”

“Hey, no judgement,” Becky assured her.

“Okay, but you didn’t pay off your student loans with only $400 a month.”

“No… after Todd and I had been seeing each other for a while, I met another guy, Greg. And he was more well off than Todd. He was an investment banker or something. And this time I was smarter, and I put the ball in his court. When the financial conversation happened I asked him how much he valued my time. And he suggested $500 a date, and I countered with $2000 a month.”

This time, both Sonnett and Becky’s mouths fell open. “That’s… holy shit that’s a lot of money,” their manager offered finally.

Morgan just nodded. “Yeah. And my car payment and cell phone bill were already taken care of, so I pretty much put it all into my savings. And we saw each other for nearly two years. So… yeah.”

“And you were seeing Todd and Greg at the same time?”

Morgan shrugged at Emily’s question. “For a bit, yeah. He ended up moving after like six months.”

“That’s insane. And so you just had the two?”

“Well, there was a third guy… Footslave48.”

Emily let out an honest to god scream, forcing Morgan to quickly hit her in the stomach to make her quit.

“What?!” exclaimed Becky.

“We never met in person! He just… he had a thing for feet. Obviously. So I would send him pictures of my feet and he would but me things off of my Amazon wishlist. Mainly shoes, for obvious reasons, but also stuff like textbooks and groceries.”

“You… little minx! I would have never guessed that wholesome little Morgan had such a scandalous past!”

Morgan’s cheeks reddened. “It really… It wasn’t that big of a deal. It’s not so different from dating a guy and expecting him to buy dinner. And if anything, at least everyone was being clear about what they wanted. And I was really attracted to both Todd and Greg, I wouldn’t have been able to have sex with them otherwise.”

“That’s… so cool, honestly,” Emily said. “Maybe I could be a sugar baby…”

Becky tilted her head to the side, studying her server for a second. “Like… with a sugar mama?”

“What?”

The manager took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to ask the question she had been wondering for a while without overstepping with someone who was technically her employee. “I mean… They have both sugar daddies and sugar mamas, right Moe?”

Morgan nodded. “Yeah, they have both.”

Becky turned back to Emily. “You could do either. Whichever you wanted.”

Emily merely nodded. “Hm. Much to think about.” One of the kitchen guys slid open the door and thrust a plate towards her. “Manuel! My dude! Thank you!” She danced forward and took the platter of pulled pork tacos from him and settled down at one of the tables, hurriedly stuffing one in her mouth.

Becky just sighed as she watched. She caught Morgan’s eye and they both shrugged. The mystery of Emily Sonnett’s sexuality would have to wait for another day.


	3. The line between friends and something else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carli has to go home sick, so Tobin and Christen end up closing down the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, bold & italicized= Company email, Just italicized=texts

_ **To: cpress23@gmail.com; kriegeralexandra@gmail.com; getalonglilallie@yahoo.com; moe.brian.3@gmail.com; 4 others** _

_ **From: crystal@bigracks.com** _

_ **Subject: Server Uniforms** _

_ **Hey everyone!** _

_ **Dan came in today and he wanted me to reach out regarding uniform standards. As a reminder, for every shift you should be wearing:** _

_ **-clean, non wrinkled 'Big Racks' tee shirt or tank top** _

_ **-denim bottoms, either jeans, shorts, or a mini skirt** _

_ **-CLEAN red converse or cowboy boots** _

_ **-whistle around your neck** _

_ **If you have any concerns or questions, please feel free to reach out to a manger!** _

_ **Thanks, ** _

_ **Crystal Dunn** _

_To:Emily_

_From: Allie_

_lolol clean converse. K. We'll see._

_To: Allie_

_From: Emily_

_I'll wear clean converse when Dan himself comes and licks them clean for me. Until then, he can suck my dick_

_To: Emily_

_From: Allie_

_SUCK MY DICK DAN_

**Alex**

"Carli, what's your number? I need to void an order of chicken wings." Alex's question was met with a quiet groan, making her look up from her tablet. "Carli? You okay?"

The manager turned around, and Alex was surprised to see a thin sheen of sweat covering her face. "What do you need?"

"Woah, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm fine." Carli held out her hand for Alex's tablet. "Why are you voiding the wings?"

"I accidentally hit barbecue, but they wanted buffalo. Seriously, are you alright?"

"I just... I don't feel good."

Christen came around the corner. "Alex, if you wanna be cut you- oh my god, are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Carli insisted. "I just... I have a sore throat and a headache."

Christen stepped forward and pressed her arm to Carli's forehead. "Uh, and a fever!"

Carli weakly pushed Christen away. "I'll be fine, I've just been working a lot. My body hurts all over..."

Christen and Alex glanced at each other. "You have the flu." Alex deadpanned.

Carli gave a weak imitation of her normal glare. "Don't. Say. That. The last thing I need is to have the flu. I'll end up giving it to the girls, and Brian won't be able to take care of them..." She broke off as her body was hit with a coughing spell.

"You can't stay here. You look like you're going to fall over at any moment," Alex argued. She admired Carli's dedication, but she had an important photo shoot coming up next week, and if her manager got her sick she wouldn't be held accountable for her actions.

"I can't leave. Becky opens tomorrow, Pinoe's out of town, and Crystal's already back in Jersey."

"Wait, hasn't Tobin trained as a cover manager?" Christen asked.

"Yeah but-"

"But what? You look like death." Alex turned around walked to the bar. "Tobes!"

Tobin strolled over, grabbing a bottle of whiskey as she did. "What's up?"

"I'm pretty sure Carli has the plague. Will you cover manage so she can go home?"

Tobin looked past her to where Carli was shivering in the doorway to the server's station. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Yeah, get out of here."

"I'm not sick," Carli insisted. "I'm just worn down."

"Well either way, you shouldn't be here. Give me your keys, I'll shut down the bar."

Carli gave another hacking cough. "You can't do it by yourself-"

"I'll stay with her," Christen said firmly. I'm the closing server and I seriously don't mind. Get out of here."

Their manager looked wearily between the three. "I can stay. I'm not sick."

"Humor us. Hand over the keys." Carli did as Tobin said, fishing them out and putting them in her palm.

"Fine. But I'm gonna have my phone on, call me if you have any questions or problems. And if one of the drawers is short-"

"Then I will leave a note for Becky to look at it in the morning. Seriously, get the fuck out, Carlos. You need rest and medicine."

Carli didn't even have the energy to be mad at Tobin for the dumb nickname. "Okay. Fine. But you have to call me if there's a problem."

Tobin put a hand over her heart, holding up the other. "Scout's honor, Carlos."

A guy halfway down the bar put up his hand. "Can I have my Jack and coke?"

Tobin gave him a look. "Uh, can you gimme a fucking minute?"

Carli looked back at Christen. "Call me if something happens."

**Christen**

"The Yankees deserved to be in the World Series..." Tim slurred as Tobin walked him to the front door. She patted him good naturedly on the back.

"I know, bud."

"We haven't won since... since 2009! That's bullshit!"

"Fuckin' bullshit," she agreed. "You need me to call you a car?"

"Nah... I'm just down the street."

"Alright, well, we'll see you next week, yeah?"

"Yeah." He clumsily gave her a fist bump as he walked through the door. "Fuckin' Astros... Night Toby!" Tobin pulled the door shut and locked it before walking back to where Christen was counting one of the bar drawers.

"Toby?" she asked with a giggle.

Tobin grinned and shrugged her shoulders. "As far as nicknames go, I've been called worse." She looked up to see the last of the kitchen guys coming up, zipping their jackets. "You guys good? I'll see you tomorrow!"

"How many beers did he have?"

Tobin picked up his check from where he had dropped it. "Twelve PBRs and one shot of tequila."

Christen shook her head. "I don't know why anyone would want to drink PBR, it tastes like garbage water."

"It tastes like someone drank a good beer then peed it out."

Christen wrinkled her nose. "Ew, you're gross!" she laughed. "But... not wrong."

"People drink it because it's cheap."

"If they want something cheap they should just buy a case at the store and drink at home."

"Yeah, but then they wouldn't get to see my pretty face." The goofy smile on her face faltered for a second. "I'm kidding. Obviously."

"All of our customers love you," Christen said absent mindedly as she counted the fives.

"I mean, you certainly have your fans as well. I see you with your regulars."

Christen shrugged. "Yeah, but it's different. My regulars come because they know I'll comp a few drinks off their tab in exchange for a good tip. Well, that and the chance to try and get a good look down my shirt." Her cheeks flamed as she realized what she had said. That's something she would say to another server, like Allie or Morgan. Not that she and Tobin weren't close, their relationship was just... different. "Your regulars actually want to talk to you. They like you as a person."

Tobin seemed to consider her words as she wipe down the bar. "They like the person I am when I'm here, yeah."

"And that's so different from the real Tobin?"

Tobin looked up and met her eyes. "Two sides of the same coin, I guess. It's not that fun, loud, crazy Tobin isn't me, it's just mainly who I am when I'm here. At home or with my friends and family I'm quieter. And the people here don't want to see quiet Tobin." Her cheeks pinked slightly, and something in Christen's stomach warmed at the thought of Tobin being open with her.

"Well I bet quiet Tobin is still fun to be around. I bet she and quiet Christen would probably get along."

Tobin brought the second drawer around and sat on the barstool next to Christen. She leaned over to grab her drink and her knee pressed into Christen's. "And what does quiet Christen like to do for fun?"

"She listens to a lot of true crime podcasts," Christen admitted, only a tad embarassed. 

"Have you listened to My Favorite Murder?" Tobin asked excitedly.

Christen nudged her with her elbow. "Duh! That's the best one."

Tobin laughed, draining the last of her tequila soda. "Maybe that's why your regulars come in, your good taste in podcasts. Your bangin' bod is just a bonus."

Christen's breath caught in her throat, a flurry of emotions washing through her. "Bangin' bod? Is that a personal opinion or..."

Tobin grinned. She slid from her barstool to take her drawer downstairs to the office, majorly invading Christen's personal space as she did. "I mean you can't put a gorgeous girl in front of me and expect me not to notice," she said in a low voice.

Before Christen could even process what she was doing, she fisted her hands in the material of Tobin's Big Racks' tee shirt, dragging her closer and crashing their lips together. Tobin fumbled with the cash drawer, practically dropping it onto the bar in her haste to bury her hands in Christen's hair. She stepped even closer, turning Christen in her seat so that she was standing between her legs. After several moments of furious kissing, Tobin pulled back, panting. "Wait, I didn't even know you were gay."

Christen stared deep into her eyes for a moment, unable to find words past _Neither did I,_ so instead she just pulled Tobin's lip back to hers. All she knew is that she had wanted to kiss Tobin more than anyone else in living memory, and she smelled so goddamn good, and the few shots of whiskey she had taken earlier with her tables were burning a fire in her veins that was only serving to stoke the fire building in the pit of her stomach. Tobin pulled away from her lips, kissing along her jaw then ducking to lick and suck at her pulse point. Christen groaned, tugging her closer.

Suddenly Tobin's hands were on her ass, pulling her forward. She instinctively wrapped her legs around her waist, helping support her weight as Tobin lifted her from the barstool, knocking it over as she blindly turned and carried Christen to the nearby shuffleboard table which had thankfully already been covered for the night.

As soon as Tobin sat her down, she brought her hands back to Tobin's shirt, pulling it over her head and tossing it across the room. Tobin did the same to hers, letting her hands play across the newly bared skin of her back before gently pressing her back to lay down, and Christen vaguely wondered why she had resisted this for so long.

**Becky**

She rubbed at her eyes as she let herself into the office, trying to read the text her brother had sent her. She knew logically that 1 pm was not an early start time by any means, and part of her felt a little guilty that she had slept in until 11:30, but she just hadn't been able to get out of bed this morning. She placed her bag on the desk and shrugged out of her coat, throwing it over the back of the chair before sitting down. She knew that Carli had been forced to go home early the night before and had left Tobin in charge but she wasn't worried. Tobin was good at her job, and Becky trusted her to make decisions for the bar. She turned on the computer and took another dip of coffee. 

Really, if there was a good night for Carli to go home sick, Monday night was it, the bar was usually dead by 12:30_._ She pulled up the time clock and punched in, clicking back to the day before to see when Tobin and Christen had left. She was shocked to see that they hadn't left until 3:12 am. It wasn't unheard of for the bar to saty open until 3 or 4 on weekends, but on a Monday? What the hell had happened last night? She pulled up the security footage from the night before and began scrolling through.

There was the bar. As the night got later, the crowd got thinner, until Tobin eventually escorted the last guy out at 12:45. Becky furrowed her brow as they both sat down to count the drawers.

Her eyebrows quickly shot up towards her hairline, and she watched in shock as the two began to kiss, Tobin picking Christen up and carrying her across the room, neither one apparently concerned that it actually moved them into better visibility for the security cameras. She hurriedly clicked the pause button as Tobin's shirt was thrown towards the basketball machines. The time stamp at the bottom read 12:56, meaning there was another two hours of footage before the two clocked out, and she found herself all at once mortified, irritated, and if she was being completely honest with herself, a little impressed. 

She quickly closed out of the footage, making a mental note to talk to Megan when she came in at 7. Someone was definitely going to have to talk to the tow of them, and she desperately hoped it wouldn't be her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the company email and resulting text exchange might be pulled nearly verbatim from my work life..... so if you figure out where I work don't narc on me lol


	4. Temper Tantrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A regular comes into the bar and then everything goes to shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! Lots of cursing and a guy being an absolute douchebag.

**Ali**

“Ali, can you hand me a pitcher, please?” Ali heard Ashlyn’s request but elected to ignore her, instead tapping through her paid checks on the computer screen, adding in the tips before closing them out. “Babe, can I have a pitcher?” She still didn’t respond, and she heard Ashlyn sigh heavily.

JJ walked up and started filling several glasses with ice. “JJ, can you please hand me a pitcher?”

“Sure.” She grabbed one from the server station and handed it to Ashlyn, who snatched it from her hand.

“Thank you so much! I realize that was really difficult,” she quipped sarcastically before going to fill the pitcher at one of the taps.

“Uh… you’re welcome?” JJ turned to Ali as she began to fill the glasses with soda. “What… what’s up with Ash?”

Ali sighed, finally turning away from the computer. “We’re fighting.”

“Oh no, is everything okay?” Julie laid a reassuring hand on her arm as they both began to walk back to the Coop.

“It’ll be fine, we just… Ugh! She made plans for us to go to Florida for Christmas without even asking me. Which isn’t fair because we did Christmas with her family last year. And it’s not that I don’t want to spend time with her family, I do, but… she should have asked! And also, I was kinda hoping we would be somewhere with snow for the holidays. Not to mention I thought… well.” She broke off, her eyebrows drawn together. “Nothing.”

“What?”

“I had assumed that we would do Christmas with my family, and that while we were there, she would ask my parents for their blessing to propose.” She glanced up at JJ before beginning to fiddle with her tablet again, feeling oddly embarrassed. “I know that it’s… I don’t know, old fashioned, and weirdly traditional, but when I was growing up, I assumed that it’s what my future husband would do. And I know that she’s a woman and it’s different, but-”

“But it’s what you always pictured,” JJ finished. “There’s no shame in that. Does she know that’s what you’re expecting?”

“It’s not that I expect it-”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know. I guess not. I don’t know how to tell her. But regardless of all of that, she should have talked to me before making plans!”

“I get it,” Julie said sympathetically.

“Miss? Can we get the check? We’re in a bit of a hurry.”

Julie smiled warmly at the man waving at her from the window. “Of course, one moment.” She turned to the computer to print it for him, lowering her voice so that only Ali could hear her. “He wasn’t in that much of a hurry when he sat there for three hours nursing happy hour margaritas, but okay.” She walked over to drop his check.

Ali made her way back to the other server station, checking on her tables even as she was deep in thought. Maybe the real reason she was so upset about this whole thing was because she felt like she had been waiting on a ring for far too long. They’d been dating for three years for God’s sake. It’s not as if they hadn’t talked about marriage. And Ash had made it seem like they were on the same page, that she wanted to marry Ali and start a family together, but if that was the case then what the fuck was taking so long? Was she mistaken? Did Ash not want to be with her?

Ashlyn was at the other end of the bar when she got to the server station, so she leaned against the counter and sipped on her wine.

“Yo, Ali McBeal!”

It took everything in her not to roll her eyes. Shane Stewart was the head of one of their collegiate watch parties and was probably one of Ali’s least favorite people in the whole world. Stupid nicknames aside, he was an all around dick, known throughout the staff for being belligerent and rude, starting fights with other customers, and saying stuff that was downright inappropriate.

“Hi Shane.” She turned to the bar, looking for a way to avoid talking to him, but remembered too late that she wasn’t actually waiting on a drink, and she didn’t really want to talk to Ashlyn right now either.

As if reading her mind, Shane leaned into her space to grab a glass and asked, “How’s the girlfriend?”

Girlfriend. Not fiancée, not wife. “Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Ali grumbled.

“Uh oh, trouble in paradise?” He flashed a grin as he filled his glass. “What’s the matter hon, you ready to get back to sucking dick?”

Her cheeks flushed and she took a deep breath. Years ago, before she’d started dating Ashlyn, when she was brand new to both the city and Big Racks, she’d made the mistake of going home with one of Shane’s friends. It had been nothing of consequence, a one night stand, but the friend had turned out to be just as sleazy as Shane, not hesitating in sharing details of their tryst with the rest of the watch party guys. Since then, Shane had made it his personal mission to get Ali in bed so that he could “find out if she was as much of a freak as he’d heard.”

What a fucking dickbag.

“Shane, what a surprise. I didn’t think your team was playing tonight.” Pinoe’s voice made Shane take a step back and turn around, allowing Ali to make her escape back to the dining area. She just wanted to cash out her tables and go home.

**Megan**

Why the fuck was Shane here on a Saturday night?

His team wasn’t playing, there wasn’t a watch party scheduled, there was no reason for him to be here other than to be a pain in the ass. Well, that and antagonize the servers. She hadn’t missed the way Ali was clenching her jaw as Shane spoke to her.

“Pinooooe!” He held out a hand and she let him pull her in for a weird, back slappy hug. “Just thought I’d stop by and see all my favorites. Is Alex working tonight?”

“Nope.” _Lucky her._

“Too bad. Bro, she’s so goddamn hot. I can’t wait for the day when she finally gets signed as a Victoria’s Secret model so I can brag to everyone that I was jacking off to her when she was still a no one.”

Megan clenched her teeth, reminding herself that as much of a douchebag as Shane was, Dan would not be pleased with her if they lost his watch party’s business. “She’s a great model,” she finally agreed.

He seemed to mistake her disgust for jealousy. “Aw don’t look at me like that, you know I have a thing for brunettes. They just get me going. Not that I have anything against blondes. Case in point, hey beautiful, how are you?”

Julie gave him a tight smile as he kissed her cheek, grabbing a tray and loading it with her drinks. “Good, good. How are you, Shane?”

“Doing okay. Thirsty.”

Megan forced a smile. “Well let’s take car of that then. Wanna a beer?”

“I’ll take a Johnny Walker on the rocks.”

“Coming right up.” Megan ducked under the bar and grabbed a glass. “Here’s to hoping you choke on it,” she muttered under her breath.

X

Megan was at the front of the restaurant, talking and laughing with one of the hostesses, Lindsey, when Emily came stalking up. “We need you at the bar.”

She couldn’t help but groan as she followed her. “What now?”

“Shane is being a nightmare. He grabbed a bottle from behind the bar and has been trying to pour shots into people’s mouths, even when they tell him no. And some girl got into it with him and he grabbed a bar towel and threw it in her face, so she slapped him. And now he’s-”

“I’m not paying for her fucking drinks! Take them off my tab, she can pay for her own liquor if she’s gonna be such a bitch!” he screamed at Ashlyn.

She stepped up. “Woah, woah, calm down. Everyone chill-”

“No!” His eyes were wide and crazy, and she could tell from the size of his pupils that sometime during the night he had started doing lines of blow. “If she’s gonna be a bitch then fuck her. I’m not paying for her drinks!”

“Well, to be fair you’re not paying for any drinks, we’re going to comp your tab,” Megan tried to reason. She saw Ashlyn leaning over the bar, talking to the girl who was so upset she was nearly crying.

“That’s not the fucking point!”

“Listen, just chill the fuck out, okay? Let’s get you some water-”

“Make her pay for her drinks!” he practically screamed, flecks of spit hitting her cheek, and something in her snapped.

“Can you stop being such a batshit asshole for one minute? You were being a dick and you got slapped. It wasn’t the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. We’re not making her pay for drinks that you got her, especially since we’re comping your whole fucking tab, so get the hell out of my face.”

He took a few staggering steps backward, his eyes wide and gleaming. “This is bullshit! No one has any fucking loyalty in this town! I’ve never been so disrespected…” He continued to rave and scream as he made his way to the exit, barely making an impression on the other drunk customers filling the bar area.

“Hey, are you alright?” Megan asked the girl.

She nodded, sniffing furiously. “I told him I didn’t want a fucking shot, but he wouldn’t listen to me.”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry. We’re obviously not going to charge you for the drinks he put on his tab.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you have friends here? Do you want us to call a cab?”

She shook her head. “No, I live just a few blocks down.”

“Alright, well how about I grab you a glass of water.” Megan stepped into the server station, filling a glass and handing it to the girl who gave her a small smile. As she began to walk back to the host stand, she heard a commotion behind her.

“Pinoe!” She turned around and was immediately hit square in the nose but a cardboard box. She jerked backwards in surprise, looking down in shock to see a box of tampons at her feet. She looked up to see Shane glaring at her. “If you’re gonna act like a fucking pussy then I thought you should have the right supplies.” He shoved through the crowd towards the back door, leaving Megan standing at the bar in absolute shock.

“Are you okay?” She turned to see Lindsey staring at her in disbelief.

“I… am going to murder that prick.”

X

_To: BR’s Management_

_From: Carli_

_Um, anyone want to tell me what happened last night? Why did I get an email from Shane at 3 am saying that he’s never coming to Big Racks ever again?_

_Not that I wouldn’t love for that to be true._

_To: BR’s Management_

_From: Megan_

_Oh, he threw a towel at a girl and got slapped. Threw a fit and when we didn’t bend over to suck his dick he got mad. Went out and bought a box of tampons and threw them at my face_

_To: BR’s Management_

_From: Becky_

_I’m sorry, WHAT_

_To: BR’s Management_

_From: Carli_

_He said he’s going to email Dan and complain_

_To: BR’s Management_

_From: Megan_

_I’m honestly so sick of his ass that nothing would make me happier than never seeing him again. In fact, I would love to just fucking ban him._

_It’s actually one of my top fantasies_

_Sue and I role play it all the time_

_To: BR’s Management_

_From: Crystal_

_Omgggggg Pinoe I can’t even_

_To: BR’s Management_

_From: Carli_

_Alright. Well, hopefully he sticks to his word and we never see him again, but I doubt we’ll get that lucky._

_To: BR’s Management_

_From: Becky_

_I mean, a girl can hope, right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think??
> 
> Also, if any part of you is like Oblivion, you wrote this guy too over the top, no one really behaves like that much of a jackass, please know that this is based on a real person and his real actions. He actually threw a box of tampons at one of my mangers. It was a crazy weekend.


	5. Duty Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pinoe can't get away from Big Racks and Emily helps out her fellow (wo)man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay!!! I've been sick, so what little writing energy I had was devoted to getting Think of Anything finished. But here's the next chapter! I hope it makes you guys laugh as much as it did me.

**Pinoe**

Pinoe strolled through the backdoor, sunglasses firmly in place, mouthing along to the song playing in her airpods. She walked downstairs, not seeing anyone else but not worried because all of the lights were on and the sauces were on the tables. She made her way into the office and turned on the computer.

After she clocked in, she took a few moments to scroll through her phone, getting sucked into an Instagram hole and texting dumb jokes to Sue, and before she knew it, she glanced up and saw that it was almost time to open.

_It’s super weird that no one has come into the office, _she thought absently as she keyed in the code to the safe and pulled out the drawers to take upstairs. When she got up to the bar, she glanced around but still didn’t see anyone.

“Ashlyn? Sam? Mal?” There was no answer. “Helloooo? Anyone here?” She placed the cash drawers in their respective tills, but there was still no sign of anyone. She pulled out her phone.

_To: Ash_

_From: Pinoe_

_Where are you? We open in like two mins?_

_To: Pinoe_

_From: Ash_

_Ali and I broke up, I’m not going to be able to come into work_

Pinoe’s eyes bugged out of her head and she nearly dropped her phone.

_To: Ash_

_From Pinoe_

_What??? Dude I’m so sorry, are you ok?_

_Also not to be callous but did you reach out to anyone to get a cover?_

_To: Pinoe_

_From: Ash_

_Get all my shifts covered. I’m moving back to Florida_

“Wha…” But her attention was grabbed by someone banging on the window. She looked up to see a whole crowd of people jammed into the outside vestibule, waiting to be let in. She looked back down at her phone and realized they should have opened ten minutes ago. “Fuck,” she hissed under her breath.

She walked to the front door, accepting that she was going to have to bartend until Adrianna came in for her shift. She pulled her keys from her pocket and unlocked the door. “Sorry about that guys! If you’ll give us one second, the hostess will…” But then she remembered that she actually hadn’t seen Mal yet. “Um… how many?”

“Five.”

“Table of three.”

“We have six, but we have three more coming later.”

“Okay, okay…” She grabbed a stack of menus from behind the hostess stand. “Right this way guys.” She led them to the Coop and started throwing out approximate numbers of menus onto tables. “Right, table of four?”

“Five.”

“Sure,” she threw another menu on the pile, “right here. And then… threetop, you guys will be right here, then um… just a sec, I’m gonna have to move some tables around.” She started shoving a few of the heavy long tables together for the big group. “Alright, I’ll let you guys get settled in, we’ll grab you some water.”

She started speedwalking back towards the server station, pulling her cellphone out as she did. She jabbed Mal’s contact and held it between her ear and shoulder as she began to shovel ice into pitchers and fill them with water.

No answer. No answer. No answer.

She huffed, clicking instead on Sam’s contact.

“Hello?”

“Sam, where are you? It’s 11:45 and the restaurant’s open, and I don’t have a waitress!”

“What do you mean? Carli told me I could take the day off.”

“What?”

“Yeah! She said that you guys didn’t need me today, I think Rose was going to serve and host.”

“What- Rose isn’t even working today! It’s supposed to be Mal and she’s never trained as a server, and either way, she’s not here!”

“I don’t know, that’s just what Carli said!”

Pinoe pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, can you just… Is there any way you can get here?”

“I’m so sorry, Pat and I decided to come to Coney Island for Valentine’s Day.”

“Valentine’s…” She glanced up, suddenly realizing that there were paper hearts and tiny cupids hanging from the rafters. “Oh fuck.”

“Excuse me!” She looked over to see a woman from one of the tables she had just sat waving her arm through the air. “We’ve been waiting for twenty minutes!”

“Okay, okay!” She gathered up all of the water pitchers and began dropping them off at tables along with plastic cups. She grabbed a tablet from the server station and quickly logged in, going to the first table. “Hi, what can I get you to drink?”

“I’ll take a pitcher of Miller Light-“

“We don’t have Miller on tap, we have Coors Light or I can bring you Miller Light in bottle.”

“But the menu says you have Miller!”

She didn’t roll her eyes, but just barely. “Yes, but unfortunately we no longer have it. Do you want Coors Light, or something else?”

“Well I don’t know, I’ll have to look.”

“I’ll take a Moscow Mule, but can I get that with tequila instead of vodka? And instead of the ginger beer can you do ginger ale and a little bit of Miller Light?”

“We don’t- okay. Okay, sure.”

“And also, with lemons instead of limes. I’m allergic to limes. Make sure to write that down.”

She did so. “Allergic, yeah. What else?”

“I’ll take a Shirley temple.”

Pinoe silenced a groan. “Okay. And what beer did you decide on?”

“Well, if you don’t have Miller Light-“

“I can bring it to you in a bottle,” she repeated.

“Did I say I wanted bottle? I’ll take a frozen margarita instead. Salt on the rim.”

She nodded at him, dying a little inside because she was almost certain that the margarita machine was not turned on, meaning there would be no frozen margs for at least twenty minutes. “Great, I’ll be right back.”

She practically ran to the second table. “What can I get you to drink?”

“Oh we haven’t even looked at the menu yet-“

“Great, take your time!” She yelled over her shoulder as she went to the large party. “Hi what can I get you?”

“What all comes in the Cupid’s Bowl?”

“What?” she asked in confusion. The guy pointed to a poster on the wall advertising a Cupid’s Punch Bowl for only $8.”Uh… it’s gonna be… vodka. And it also contains… sprite, and sour mix, and grenadine, and… fireball,” she replied, saying the first ingredients that came to mind.

“Vodka and whiskey? Together? That sounds disgusting,” one of the girls sneered.

“We’ll take three!” The guy next to her decided.

“I- okay… okay, I’ll be right… right back.” As she dashed towards the bar, she suddenly realized that while she hadn’t seen any of her front of house staff, she also hadn’t seen any of her bussers or food runners either. She took a quick detour down the stairs, but not before seeing that while she was talking to the other customers, people had been pouring through the front door and seating themselves, looking around in vain for someone to help them.

She flung open the kitchen door and gasped when she found it completely empty. No line cooks, no kitchen manager, no delivery guys, no one.

She was completely alone with a restaurant full of people. She sprinted up the stairs, ignoring all of the people trying to get her attention as she went to the bar, haphazardly grabbing liquor bottles and dumping them into pitchers to make punch bowls, flicking on the margarita machine and hoping for the best. Her phone began to vibrate in her pocket and she pulled out praying that it was Carli or Becky or at the very least Mal explaining _where the fuck she was_, but instead she found Sue’s face on her screen. For some reason she decided to answer it in the midst of making the drinks.

“Hi baby, so sorry, I really can’t talk right now-“

“Where are you?!”

“I- I’m at work,” she tried to explain, but Sue cut her off.

“I have been waiting at Balthazar for forty-five minutes! And now they’re telling me I have to give up our table because you’re still not here!” And then she began to cry giant heaving sobs in a most un-Sue like fashion.

“Baby I’m so sorry, I didn’t, I forgot I guess, I didn’t realize-“

“Save it! She yelled into the phone. “We are over!”

“Sue!” But she had already hung up.

“Excuse me!”

Pinoe turned around to find the woman from earlier still waving. “Where is my Shirley temple?!”

She glanced around, feeling pinned in from all sides by the sheer amount of people crowding towards the bar, everyone needing something, until she felt like she was gonna-

She woke up with a start, sitting straight up in bed with a tiny yelp. Her heart was hammering in her chest, a light sheen of sweat making her tank top stick to her back. She pressed a hand to her heart, trying to slow her breathing. She felt Sue stir beside her.

“Meg… y’okay?” she murmured into the darkness.

“Yeah… yeah, it was just… just a stress dream.” She turned and flipped her pillow over, molding it into the right shape before laying back down. “I was at the restaurant and everything… everything had gone to shit…” She felt sleep start to pull at her again. Sue reached over her side, wrapping a arm around her and pulling her back until she was nestled against her.

“Jesus, won’t that place let you rest?”

“Apparently not. I didn’t… no server, no bartender… you were mad at me…”

“Aw babe.” Sue nudged forward, kissing the back of her head. “Everything’s fine. ‘M not mad. Go back to sleep.”

**Emily**

Emily stepped up to the table and gave the couple a big smile. "Hey guys! My name is Emily, I'll be taking care of you today. Can I get you started with anything to drink?"

The guy glanced up with a grin. "Yeah, I'll take a Blue Moon."

She hit the correct button on her tablet and turned to the girl she could only assume was his girlfriend. "And for you?"

"Um..." She quickly looked over the menu. "I'll take a vodka soda."

"Great. Tito's?"

"That's great."

"Alright! I'll be right back with that." She hit send and walked back over to the server station. "God today is so slow..." she complained to Christen.

"Tell me about it. I made like ten dollars before you got here."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Why didn't Carli just text me and tell me not to come in? Honestly I don't even know why we have two servers scheduled on Wednesdays."

Lindsey rounded the corner, a smirk on her face. "Great news, we got another table!"

"Thank god," Christen replied.

"Mm, don't say that yet."

Emily looked at Lindsey suspiciously. "Why do you say that?"

Lindsey gestured with her hand and both servers peeked around the corner to see a table of two moms with at least five kids, all of them yelling and climbing up on the chairs.

"What? No!" Christen pointed at Emily. "You take them."

"No way! I just got sat, that's your table. And I mean, you were just complaining about not making any money." Emily tossed her head back with a cackle. "Have fun making thirty Shirley Temples."

Christen sighed and started towards the table. "Have I told you how much you suck lately?" Emily didn't have a chance to respond before Christen had reached the table, a customer service smile firmly in place. Instead she continued to grin to herself as she loaded both of the drinks Tobin had just made onto a tray and carried them back to her table.

"Alright we've got a Blue Moon and a Tito's and soda... are we ready to put in food?"

"I am," the guy replied. "I'll take the barbecue brisket sandwich with a side of potato salad. Actually, would you recommend that or the mac n cheese?"

"The mac n cheese is my favorite side, but they're both popular."

He grinned. “Mac n cheese it is.”

"Okay, and for you?"

The girl once again seemed caught off guard. "Shit... um... sorry, gimme just a second."

The guy smiled at Emily. "She can never make up her mind."

"No I can, I just didn't... didn't realize we were ordering already."

"I can give you a few minutes," Emily offered, but the girl held up her hand. 

"No, no, I'll do... I'll do your cobb salad."

"Okay, and which meat?"

She gave her a blank look. "What are my options?"

"Grilled chicken, fried chicken, buffalo chicken, turkey, pulled pork, brisket, shrimp, catfish..."

"Just grilled chicken is fine."

"And which dressing?" Upon seeing her distressed look, she continued, "Ranch, blue cheese, honey mustard, vinaigrette, Caesar-"

"Honey mustard, on the side please."

"Alright, we'll have that out in just a few." She held out her hand and the guy handed her their menus with another wide smile.

"Thanks Emily."

The shift trudged on, Emily and Christen hanging out at the server station, talking and laughing.

“I’m just saying, if the health inspector ever knew what really happened here, we’d get shut down for sure,” Emily chuckled.

Christen raised an eyebrow. “If you think that now you should have been here in the old days. This place was a shit show. Before Ashlyn started dating Ali she was out of control. She’d do body shots off of every pretty girl willing to get up on the bar. And when Hope was still here…” she smirked at Emily. ”Did you ever meet Hope?”

“Mm we kinda missed each other. Like we were technically here at the same time, but never worked together.”

“She was great, but a mess. Have you heard about her and Kelley hooking up in the employee bathroom?”

“WHAT?” Emily practically screeched, and Christen just smiled.

“Oh yeah. That was… a whole thing.”

“But… wait wasn’t Hope married?”

“I think she and her husband were technically separated at that point. But that’s part of the reason that she had to leave.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. So like, this place used to be way worse,” Christen laughed as they walked back onto the floor.

“But I thought Hope had to leave because Dan was mad that she she got in a fight with a customer?”

Chris shrugged. “I mean, yeah, but I think it was more her husband wanted to make sure she wasn’t finger banging Kelley when no one was around.”

“Shit…” Emily replied thoughtfully. She split off from Christen approached her table. Just the guy was sitting there, she assumed that his girlfriend had stepped into the restroom. “Are you guys doing okay? Can I get you anything?”

“Yeah, actually. I was wondering if I could get your number.”

She stared at him, dumbfounded. “I’m sorry?”

He gave her what he clearly thought was a charming smile. “Your number.”

She shifted from one foot to another, laughing slightly. “Um… aren’t you literally on a date right now? Is that your girlfriend?”

He shrugged. “I mean, yeah but I’m just looking to have a little fun. It’s chill.” He lightly grabbed her arms and she took a step back. Her eyes flickered up just in time to see his girlfriend walking up the stairs. She turned abruptly and walked to the computer, printing out their ticket and scribbling something down on a separate piece of paper. She dropped the check off at the table and waited patiently until he was ready to pay. She cashed him out without comment but when was finished she gave them both a wide smile.

“Hey, so unfortunately, I’m not going to be giving you my number, thanks for asking.” She watched as the blood drained from his face and his girlfriend narrowed her eyes at him.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, he told me that you were his girlfriend and he was just looking for a little fun, but that’s just not me. You on the other hand, you seem wonderful, and like you deserve someone who’s gonna treat you right and make you come four times in one night unlike mister two pump wonder you came in with, so this,” she handed her the other slip of paper, “Is our bartender’s number.” She pointed at where Tobin was leaning against the bar, talking and laughing with a customer. “Once you get rid of this douchebag, you should go over and introduce yourself.” She gave them both another big smile. “Anyways, thanks for coming in, have a great night!” She turned and walked away, hearing the guy begin to splutter out a defense to what would surely be his ex-girlfriend in just a few minutes.

“What… just happened?” Christen asked as Emily walked over their arguing growing louder behind her.

“That guy hit on me so I told on him then gave the girl Tobin’s number. Saving her from that asshole and finally getting Tobin laid, two birds with one stone. Man, I’m a great wing woman!”

“Wait, what do you mean, finally?” Christen asked.

“Yeah, I think she’s just been going through a dry spell. We were talking the other day and she said that there wasn’t really anyone on her radar.”

Christen swallowed, biting her lip. “Oh.”

“What? Why do you look like that?”

“Nothing. I just remembered my table wanted another lemonade.” She stalked away, leaving Emily watching her in confusion, but then she shrugged. She turned and saw the girl pour the remnants of her Tito’s and soda in the guy’s lap then stand up and walk towards the bar, making a bee line for Tobin.

_Man, _she thought smugly, _I really am wing woman of the year._


End file.
